Q. What self-respecting company could possibly want its name schmeered all over dirty little Paul Holmes’ high-rating drivelfest?
A. None! Therefore, we can only conclude that the proprietors of everybody’s favourite funky young celebrity juice makers – Charlie’s – have no self-respect! How else can they have made the decision to pay good money aligning their brand with El F*cko himself? I mean, it’s not enough that Holmes is an arch-conservative, patronising, self-obsessed, goat-blowing wannabe lounge-singer c**t. If that were all there was to it, he’d be no worse than Mikey Havoc. But the fact is, as we all well know, in an unguarded moment of pure ego last year, Holmes laid his racist cards on the table and called the Sec Gen of the UN a cheeky darkie (a comment, let’s remember, that was prompted by Kofi Annan having the bravery, good taste and decency to criticise Bush Jnr for invading Iraq), prompting multinational megacorp Mitsubishi to pull their sponsorship of the show. No doubt Messrs Lepionka and Ellis got a good price and made a killing on the deal, but honestly! It’s just this kind of unprincipled attention-seeking that gives capitalism a bad name.
Suffice to say that in future, I for one am taking my mandarin-buying ass elsewhere, and I would call upon all right minded persons to do the same.
PS I know I’m way out of date with this, but I don’t watch Holmes, I just noticed it during an ad break in the Simpsons the other day…